By Allen Smith | Emerald Coast Styled
Who’s brave enough to let the officiant stand with the crowd, near the front of the aisle, so your guests can see your faces?
I mean it. The two of you standing together, looking out at the people who came to celebrate you. They can see you laughing, getting nervous, and trying not to cry. And you get to see them, too.
Besides, your family already knows what the back of your head looks like.
I like the idea of giving everyone a chance to share more of that moment. We spend a lot of time thinking about what guests will see when they arrive: the flowers, the chairs, the setting. What they can see during the ceremony deserves some thought, too.
Let them see the moment
Depending on how everyone stands, guests may see your profiles or spend part of the ceremony looking at your backs. Turning toward them for the welcome and the telling of your story could change how that feels.
Imagine the officiant bringing up how you met, and you catch your best friend’s eye because they were there. Or you look over and see your parents smiling at something you hadn’t thought about in years. Those reactions are part of the day, and I like the thought of you getting to enjoy them as they happen.
Your guests get to see your reactions, too. The look you give each other when the officiant says something funny. The deep breath before you answer. That smile that shows up even when you’re trying to hold it together.
Of course, if your plan is to cry discreetly, we may have just ruined it. Bring the good tissues.
There’s something about being able to look out and recognize the people who helped you get here. Some have known you your whole life. Some came into it later and somehow became family. You invited them to share this with you. I think it would be nice to actually see them doing it.
So, how would it work?
You would stay at the front of the ceremony, with your flowers or whatever setting you’ve chosen behind you. The officiant would lead from a planned spot near the front of the aisle, among the guests and facing you. The exact position would depend on the room and the seating.
You could face your guests for the opening and your story, then turn toward each other for your vows and rings. Those promises are still between the two of you. You don’t have to keep looking out at the crowd when what you want to do is look at the person you’re marrying.
I’d want it to feel natural. Hold hands. Laugh when something is funny. Take a second if you need one. You have enough to think about without worrying whether you’re standing like the top of a wedding cake.
There’s also an option to have the officiant stand beside you while you face your guests for the opening. Celebrant Sarah Aird describes that approach, with the couple turning toward each other for vows and rings. That could be worth trying if the aisle position doesn’t work in your space.
A few things to work out first
This is where your planner, officiant, photographer, and sound team come in. Officiant team Young Hip & Married raises a fair concern: an officiant in the aisle can get in the way of camera movement and leave guests wondering whether to watch the couple or turn toward the person speaking.
That’s a good reason to walk through the idea together and see how it feels. A few questions I’d bring to the rehearsal:
- Can people actually see you? Have someone sit in the front, middle, back, and outer seats. Check both sides. What looks great from the center of the aisle may look different from the last chair in a row.
- Can everyone hear? The officiant may have their back to some guests. Test the microphones from the positions you’ll use, including when you turn toward each other for your vows.
- Where will the cameras go? Your photographer and videographer need clear views and room to move. Work out where the officiant will stand for the kiss, too.
- How does everyone move? Practice turning toward each other, getting the rings and microphones where they need to be, and clearing the aisle for your walk back together.
- Does it fit your ceremony? Ask your officiant and venue about any requirements, including religious or cultural traditions you want to honor.
We can be a little adventurous without creating a traffic jam halfway through the vows.
For an outdoor ceremony, I’d also check the sun and wind from those positions and walk through the indoor backup plan. I can picture that 30A look at The Sanctuary 1905, right here in Pensacola.
Would you try it?
I understand why facing everyone might feel like a lot. There you are, already having a big day, and now all the people you love can see every expression on your face.
But that’s also what makes the idea interesting to me. You get to see them smiling back. You get to share the laugh when the officiant tells a story. And when things get emotional, you can see that you have plenty of company.
If facing each other throughout feels better to you, that’s worth listening to. But if this idea makes you smile, bring it up with your officiant and planner. Try it at the rehearsal and see what you think.
Who’s brave enough? Tell me if you’d try it.
— Allen
Editorial disclosure: Emerald Coast Styled is edited by Allen Smith, who also contributes ideas to Events Styled by LUXE. LUXE is solely owned by Kristina Smith. Editorial opinions expressed here are Allen’s own.
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